Mysterious Mr Bond
by Pockyisgood
Summary: Just as he is about to go to jail, Boris Grishenko is given a second chance. AUish CRACK PAIRING SLASH Bond/Boris. Please don't take this fic too seriously. Oneshot.


**Okay, I have never written James Bond fanfiction before, so there is probably loads of OOC in here. I just wrote it for the crack pairing lolz. XD I hope you enjoy it, I had fun writing it.**

**Warnings: SLASH! Don't like, don't read. SPOILERS! Yes, this takes place after Goldeneye and no, I won't give you a scientific explanation on how Boris survived. He's just one of my favorite characters and I thought it would be fun to pair him up with our favorite agent!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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><p>Boris had somehow survived the liquid nitrogen and was now about to be transferred from the hospital to jail. Things sure were not looking up.<p>

"Might as well have stayed frozen," Boris mumbled to himself in Russian as his hands were cuffed. He looked down at his feet in despair, "At least then I would not have to look forward to men bigger than me in prison..."

It was then that he heard an familiar voice say in English, "Give us a moment, won't you gentlemen?"

Boris looked up just in time to see the policemen who were about to escort him exit the room, leaving the Russian genius and the English secret agent alone. 007 made sure the blinds were closed before he spun around on his heel to face the Russian.

"What do you what?" Boris asked, his accented voice filled his confusion and caution.

James gave a small smile, sticking his hands in his pockets, "I'm here to offer you another chance."

The Russian flashed a sarcastic 'yeah, right' smirk. "That's bull."

"Is it?" James retorted, pulling a paper folded into three quarters out of the inner breast pocket of his blazer. He unfolded it and glanced down at the writing inscribed, "because Natalya told me a bit about your friendship before this whole big bad incident occurred. A thought came to me then; you are a computer genius, correct?"

Flattered but proud, Boris replied with a "Yes I am."

Bond continued, "Good because it has been informed to my agency about your talents, which may come in handy sometime."

Boris' brow furrowed, "What?"

"I'm offering you an alternative, Mr. Grishenko. Come work for my agency with no other loyalties, or go to jail and allow your talents wasted," James pocketed the piece of paper once more, "it's your choice."

Boris stood there for a moment, overwhelmed at what had just been offered to him. He thought it over for a moment, then his eyes met 007's, "What of everything I had done? So many lives... How do you know you can trust me?"

James Bond smiled again, "Because we'll be able to keep a hawk-eye watch on you. Besides, once you start working for us, why would you want to even try to go against us?"

_Alright, work for the agency that will be suspicious of you, but you'll be able to be near computers, or go to a jail where you'll probably be beaten up every day?_ The Russian thought with a cringe, U_gh! That would be like going back to high school... I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?_

Their eyes met again.

"Alright," Boris agreed, "get me out of here."

James Bond nodded, "I'll tell the police and you'll be escorted to the agency, where I'll meet you later." He turned to leave..

"Mr. Bond?" Boris stopped him.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." Boris was not the type to often say 'please', 'excuse me', or 'thank you', but he realized at that moment how good it was to say it.

"You're welcome," Bond smiled, then turned to leave again, but paused at the door. Before the Russian could think about why the British man was still there, James spun around, strode up to Boris and gave him a kiss on the lips. It was over quickly; James turned on his heel once again to make for the door.

"W-what the hell was that for?" squeaked a shocked Boris.

The secret agent did not turn around completely, but looked over his shoulder at the Russian. The corner of his mouth quirked up, "Perhaps you will find out soon."

Mr. Bond finally left the flabbergasted Boris, who stood in the middle of the hospital room trying to figure out what he meant.

The End


End file.
